Hey Jude (Lennox Valley Chronicles #1)

OLENA

Grabbing a throw from the couch, I stuff my feet into my shoes and race out the front door, gulping in breaths of fresh night air. Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, my still-damp hair whips around my face in the wind. The chilly night takes the heat from my cheeks and I close my eyes, grateful for the sensation. Outside feels safer. My breathing slows. The rain hasn’t hit yet. With a glance at the dark driveway, I shuffle over to the newly installed switch near the front porch and turn on the garden lighting.

Twinkling fairy lights dance to life in the chestnut tree across the clearing from where I stand. The lights for the cliff-side seating area flick on, their soft yellow glow illuminating the table and chairs. Along the garden borders and among the new plants, staked lanterns glow low to the ground, bringing the yard into focus like a stage. The lit edges of the cobblestone and gravel paths in front of my feet glow a soft pinkish white, snaking along the ground. From where I’m standing, I can see the top of the lights hovering over the firepit in the sunken garden. It’s beautiful.

Pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders, I take a steadying breath. Walking carefully across the grass to the bench swing in the sparkling chestnut tree, the warmly lit property feels ethereal and hushed despite the howling wind. I slowly climb the steps to the swing—the steps Jude and I built. The wind around me is somewhat lessened under the shelter of the branches. I sit down on the swing, tentatively leaning back, and look up. The soft glow cast by the twinkling tree is stunning; the lights look like stars.

I hear the engine before I see the lights. Jude’s truck roars into the driveway and I watch, frozen and heart racing, as he gets out and jogs to the front door.

He knocks hard. “Olena!” he calls out.

“Over here!” I have to shout to be heard over the sound of the wind whipping between us.

Jude spins around. His eyes find mine in the soft glow around us.

I stand, shakily descending the steps, and his eyes lock on mine as he starts to cross the yard. Still hugging the blanket around my shoulders, I move to meet him, my pace quickening. The relieved expression on his face wrenches something in my heart and tears well in my eyes. I break into a run, the blanket falling from my hands and fluttering to the grass. I slam into his body, burying my face in his chest and squeezing my arms around him. His strong arms envelop me.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I murmur into his shirt, clinging to him tightly. “I just can’t be here alone. The house—” My pulse is racing again and I’m shaking. “There are all these banging noises, and the wind is making a howling sound inside the chimney somehow, and I heard glass break… I got scared. I just… I needed to see you.” I take a breath. “I need you.”

Jude pulls back and lifts my chin to look at him. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’m here.” He slowly rubs my back with one hand, and smoothes my hair away from my face with the other, searching my eyes. “I’m here,” he says again. His hands on me again feel so… right.

My breath catches at the concern in his expression. This man. He’s been nothing but incredible to me. All this time, I’ve been convinced I didn’t deserve him, but what if he’s exactly what I need? Not later. Right now. Everything I’ve been holding back—everything I’ve been trying to push down—suddenly becomes clear to me. I can’t deny my feelings any longer. The words come rushing out.

“I don’t want space or time, okay? I don’t. I hate being away from you so much; it’s making me feel sick and I can’t stand it anymore.”

Jude lets out a breath.

I wipe my eyes with my sweater sleeve, my voice shaking. “You said you weren’t going to run. Well, I was running. And I don’t want to run anymore either, Jude.” I exhale an exhausted breath and close my eyes. I feel his fingers slide into the hair at the back of my neck, his thumbs brushing my cheeks. The warmth of his hands feels like home. When I look back at him, it takes me a moment to steady myself. “I want you. I’ve wanted you all this time. I just—”

Jude’s lips meet mine and I crumble. Tears run down my cheeks as I grasp at him, my hands at his neck, pulling him closer. I’ve missed his touch so desperately; feeling his lips on mine soothes a deep ache inside me. My eyes are still closed when our lips part, my breathing shallow.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yes,” I breathe.

He kisses me again, deeply and tenderly. “Olena…”

I look up.

“It’s about fucking time.” He smiles with relief and meets my eyes. “I was losing my goddamned mind.”

I let out a messy, breathy laugh. “I’m so sorry,” I say again as he kisses my nose, then hugs me tight to his chest.

I feel the first raindrops fall on my forehead, my hands, and my cheeks.

I pull back to look at him. “Jude, I need to tell you about what happened.” I wipe my eyes again, taking a deep breath. “About why I get so scared—why I have panic attacks and nightmares.”

“Are you sure?” he asks again. He furrows his brow, looking cautious.

“Yes.” I nod. He needs to know.

“Okay,” he says softly, rubbing his hands over my arms. “Come on, let’s go sit down.” He offers me his hand.

We walk back to the swing in silence, his thumb brushing rhythmic strokes over the back of my hand. On our way, Jude bends to retrieve the blanket from the grass. He settles in close beside me on the swing and wraps an arm around my shoulders, pressing a warm kiss to the side of my head.

Steeling myself, I take a deep breath. “Back in Seattle, I lived with my ex, Sean. We were together for a few years, but he started using drugs and things got… complicated.”

The rain picks up, filtering through the still-bare branches above us that only bear the first buds of early spring. We don’t move. He waits for me to continue.