Hey Jude (Lennox Valley Chronicles #1)

I stare at the screen, biting my thumbnail as I try to work up the courage to hit send.

My phone rings and I jump. Withheld number. Fuck.

Sean hasn’t contacted me in a week; I thought he’d gotten the message that we’re done.

Reluctantly, I answer. “Sean, you need to stop calling me. I mean it. This isn’t okay.” I try to make my voice sound stern but I’m feeling anything but strong and confident.

“Baby, I miss you,” Sean breathes heavily into the phone.

I clench my free hand into a fist. “I told you I’m done. You need to leave me alone.”

“Aw, fuck, I can’t. You know that,” he says. He sounds weird.

“Are you high?” I know the answer but I ask anyway.

“Olena, fuck, I just want you back, okay? Everything is so fucked up right now. Please, just come home.”

He’s definitely high.

“You’re still using. I can hear it in your voice right now.” Jesus. I sigh. “Look, you need to get some help. Start going to that program again, maybe. I don’t know. But I can’t be the one to help you anymore.”

“I’m not… look, I’m fine. I’ve got it under control, like I told you last time.”

“You’re calling me high, to beg me to come back? Fuck off, Sean. I don’t want to be with you. Stop calling me. Stop texting me. It’s over.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Then I hear a sniff and he clears his throat. Is he crying?

“What’s the point?” he finally asks, his voice shaking.

I don’t answer.

“What’s the fucking point of getting clean if I don’t have you? Huh?” He’s getting progressively more aggressive. “What’s the fucking point?” He’s yelling into the phone now, so loudly I have to pull it away from my ear.

“Sean…” My voice is high-pitched and nervous.

“No. Take me back. I can’t do this without you. You have to. I need to make you see…” He’s raising his voice again.

“Sean, you can’t change my mind. Stop calling.”

“Olena. Baby, please—”

I cut him off. “No! Stop contacting me. We’re done!” Tears well in my eyes and I’m shaking, but somehow my voice comes out sounding stronger than I feel.

A pause on the line. Then, a guttural sound of frustration. “You fucking bitch!” Sean screams into the phone and I recoil.

I hang up, my heart hammering in my throat. I sit on my bed in stunned silence.

He never used to talk to me like that. Not when we were together and he got high. Not even at the end when things were going badly between us. But the tone in his voice now was threatening. My hands shake and I squeeze them into fists, letting the phone drop onto my bedspread. I’ve never heard him like that.

Staring at the dark screen in front of me, my mind reels. How can I block a withheld number? Shit. I’m still trying to process Sean’s phone call when Jude’s text lights up my phone.

Hey, beautiful. So sorry about my brother. Are you okay? Miles is harmless but I could see you were scared and I’m so sorry that happened. Can I see you? x

I don’t touch the phone, letting the screen darken. Slowly, I hug my knees to my chest. I can’t do this. Obviously, Sean is still a very real, very toxic presence in my life. I need to figure out how to get rid of him for good. Whatever I feel for Jude, he doesn’t deserve to get wrapped up in the personal drama of a traumatized disaster with a drug-addicted, angry ex who won’t leave her alone.

I pick up my phone and delete the draft from earlier, the words looking strangely cheerful and optimistic considering what just happened.

Instead, I type out a new text. My heart breaks as I hit send.