Grayson: An MM Friends To Lovers Romance

CHAPTER 33

Henry

I watched Grayson leave the billiards, feeling like a complete and utter failure of a human being.

All day I’d ransacked my brain, trying to find even a shred of memory of what had happened between us, but there was nothing. I hadn’t truly blacked out from drinking since my freshman year of college, in which my sister had to take my ass home.

And after that, I swore I’d never get black out drunk again, knowing the position I put myself in.

But I’d had a good time, up until my memory faded to black. The things I could remember—singing karaoke with Mia, Julie, and Grayson, sucking Grayson off underneath the underpass, tasting all the wine, dancing with my sister—I had meant what I said to Mia. I couldn’t remember the last time I had so much fun.

I hated that I couldn’t remember what had happened between us.

Casual sex wasn’t something I did.

But I knew, despite having no memory of it, that was exactly what happened.

We fucked.

There was a sliver of a chance that we might have just passed out, but I could remember making out with Grayson, among other things, so the leap was only logical.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be fucked by Grayson. Or that I didn’t think about fucking him. Which was certainly a new development for me, being as I’d never topped anyone before.

But it wasn’t the ninety-nine point nine chance we had sex that bothered me. What bothered me was that I had been careless with my heart, and with Grayson’s.

I wanted to take my time with Grayson. I wanted to be sure he wasn’t going to break my heart like my ex. I needed to trust him. I needed to know with absolute certainty that Grayson didn’t just see me as a fun weekend, and was going to discard me the minute we got home. I needed to know Grayson saw me as more than just the younger brother of his sister’s bestie, and I also didn’t want things to be awkward after this weekend, with the wedding on the horizon and any other events I might see him at. After all, this weekend wouldn’t last forever.

What was going to happen when we arrived home and went back to reality?

Would Grayson still want to be with me without all the romance and sophistication surrounding us?

When the reality wasn’t all glamping tents and waterfall hikes and expensive wine?

I wanted more than anything to tune out the anxiety, the panic, and the negative thoughts that threatened to sour the best weekend I’d had in a long time. But I couldn’t get my head out of my ass, and because of that, I watched Grayson leave, and I did nothing.

Mia nudged me from my internal prison. “Your turn,” she said, her gaze soft, understanding.

I grabbed my stick, lining up my shot as I sucked in a deep breath.

Some things in life were simple. Like playing pool. The rules were understood, and there was a clear indication of what to expect when you played the game. I wished life was like that. Easy to understand, easy to play.

Instead, it was messy and chaotic. It was scary and thrilling, and beautiful and ugly all at once.

Crack!

The clacking of the balls sounded together as they dispersed, the eight ball going right in the corner pocket like I had hoped.

Giselle whistled in approval as Riley and Aaron high-fived one another.

“Damn, Henry, I wish my brother were here to see that. He’s the best player when it comes to the game. I bet you could give him a run for his money.”

Giselle said with a smile.

“I’d love to see that,” Aaron said with a laugh. “Someone putting Gray in his place for once.”

My blood chilled, my face expressionless at the casual mention of the object of all my desires.

Their words only made me feel worse.