Graceless (Grace Notes #2)

“What was your rough patch about? You and Savannah?”

Brynn looked surprised. She hesitated. Then she angled her body towards Cassidy in the back seat.

“This pregnancy,” she said. “It wasn’t our first. Savannah had two miscarriages before this one stuck. They hit us both differently. I’d always worried, even before things went wrong…I guess that’s just who I am. Savannah though, she’d been so sure everything would be fine…” Her voice trailed off.

Cassidy swallowed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Brynn sighed. “It sucked. But when she got pregnant the third time, she wanted to just keep going. She wouldn’t – couldn’t slow down – I think it was a protective mechanism. Whereas if I could have wrapped her up in bubble wrap, made her sit the hell down and just kept them both safe, I would have. She hated that. She’s always been a little feral forest creature on the inside.” She smiled, her eyes soft.

Cassidy felt a strange sensation of recognition in her body. That felt real.

“Anyway.” Brynn straightened. “We got through it. It took us a while to see eye to eye, but even if we didn’t, I’d still want to marry the shit out of her.”

“And the baby?” Cassidy suddenly felt horribly aware of the fragility of everything. When she’d seen her sister pregnant, she’d just looked so glowing and robust, Cassidy hadn’t even considered the idea of anything ever going wrong.

“The baby’s going great,” Brynn reassured her. “There’s been a couple of scares, but she’s growing and healthy, and feisty as hell based on her kicks.”

“Her?”

“God help me,” Brynn’s smile was wide, “I’m about to have two of them.”

The next day, lunchtime rolled around and Noah and Brynn were in some kind of guitar tunnel together, working on a riff they disagreed on. Greta threw up her hands and disappeared wherever she disappeared to when she wasn’t in the sound room – it felt weird to imagine her anywhere else – and Coral wandered through the doorway.

“Looks like it’s just me and you,” she said, looking gleeful. “Let’s get out of here before either of those guitar nerds catches up.”

Cassidy was excited. Hanging out with Coral was exactly how she’d always imagined having a glamorous older sister should feel. She felt simultaneously very sophisticated and about eight years old as she joined Coral on adjoining bar stools.

“Shall we have a sneaky margarita?” Coral asked her. “Noah is a health freak and Brynn is sober, so I hardly ever get a chance to misbehave these days.”

Cassidy nodded adamantly. She wasn’t really much for booze, but if Coral had suggested lines of cocaine or a casual sky dive, she’d be in.

“Wait, Brynn’s sober?” she asked. “Like AA sober?”

“Yeah,” Coral flagged down a waiter. “It’s part of her appeal, don’t you think? That warm, grounded, non-judgemental thing she’s got going on. Comes from having crashed and fallen from a great height.”

“Huh,” Cassidy considered.

“It’s part of why she’s so damn great with your sister,” Coral said. “Savannah’s ex-husband was the worst kind of addict. The chew ‘em up and spit ‘em out type. Never did get truly sober, last I heard.”

“My parents loved him,” Cassidy admitted. “They were on his side when we heard about the divorce.”

Coral looked truly sickened.

“That’s…” She looked lost for words and Cassidy felt a pang of shame about her family.

“We only met him the once. I think in hindsight all he had to do was turn up and be a guy.”

“Gotta love a good strong prejudice,” Coral picked up her margarita and tipped her glass against Cassidy’s. “And what did you think?”

“I was just a kid‌.” She shrugged. “I hated him because he just seemed like another reason Savannah was never coming home.”

“You missed her a lot.” It wasn’t a question, so Cassidy didn’t answer her.

“How long have you and Noah been together?” she said instead. Coral watched her for a second longer.

“We got married last year. I’d wanted him since I’d first laid eyes on him.” She wriggled her eyebrows at Cassidy. “But…it was complicated. When our complications uncomplicated themselves, well,” she smirked, “I’ve never been backwards about grabbing hold of my dreams with both hands. Especially if that dream is a fine-looking man.”