Graceless (Grace Notes #2)

Chapter Eight

“Well, goodness me, aren’t you blooming?” came the frank assessment. Chester, Savannah’s longtime manager, arrived into the living room. “Oh no, please don’t get up.” He waved a hand as she went to stand. “How about I join you instead?” He took a seat on the opposite sofa from where she’d sat just for a moment, forty-five minutes ago.

“How are you, Chester?” she asked. They exchanged pleasantries, briefly interrupted as Annabelle brought him his coffee. The two were old friends and Savannah briefly wondered if her housekeeper and her manager had enjoyed many a good vent about her together over the years. It was strange to be so close to people, and yet so structurally distant. Her life was full of these kinds of arrangements, peculiar to her position as both immensely privileged and, well, busy.

They discussed for a while their plans for the next two years. Usually, it would be fairly straightforward: write an album, record an album, release an album, go on tour. But right now, life was a little more complex. As soon as Savannah had found out she was pregnant, she’d gone into a tailspin. Brynn wanted her to rest – with good reason – but Savannah had wanted to get on top of everything she could.

Over the three years since her last album had been released, she’d written stacks of songs, many of them with Brynn, but many more on her own. Unlike her last album, there was not even a hint of writer’s block. In fact, the opposite was the problem; whittling her creative output down to a cohesive set of twelve songs had driven her crazy. But by the end of her first trimester, Savannah was in the studio.

It was hard to define what was driving her. Her last album had been her first solo release, and it had out-performed even her own highest hopes, cementing her reputation as a top tier artist for perhaps decades to come. Her wealth was dizzying to contemplate. There was no need to push herself the way Savannah had pushed.

And yet. Despite the growing life within her, despite the impending wedding, Savannah had worked on her album like everything in the world rode on its success. She and Brynn had fought over it, her usually patient partner at a loss to understand why Savannah couldn’t just take it easy right now, at this one critical point in their lives. And Savannah herself could hardly explain it. It wasn’t explainable. Instead, it lived inside her blood vessels, itching at her, telling her that she had to keep working, that she couldn’t sit back and let her dreams die, that she had to make sure that Savannah Grace the corporation kept spinning, kept growing. That people depended on her. So. Many. People.

She’d finished recording a month before the wedding, and Brynn had miraculously still wanted to marry her. But the next question was arising. The baby was due in two months. The album was waiting in the wings. The label was pushing to release it at the end of fall. Was she going to tour? With an infant? What would that even look like?

Partway through their conversation, Savannah shifted laboriously, turning her body to raise her legs up onto the sofa. It took a minute to reposition the cushions behind her spine, and beneath her knees, and when she looked up, Chester was watching her, his expression unreadable.

“I know,” she said, “it’s ridiculous.”

“I…” he petered out.

“What?”

“I shouldn’t even be asking you this,” he said crossly, “but I’ve had a request. The Grand Ole Opry.”

“Oh?” she asked. The country music institution had invited her to membership two years ago. It had been one of the greatest honors of her career, especially as her last album had not been remotely country.

“There’s been some disruption to their programming, a couple of big tours on hold – Covid, stars in rehab – the usual.”

“And?”

“They want an hour-long set. At the Ryman. Saturday after next.”

Savannah looked at him. She’d played the Ryman Auditorium many times, as both Twice Struck and as a solo artist. Each time was life-changing. Each time was like going to her true home, attending her true church. It was the only place that made her believe in God. You did not say no to the Ryman. She looked down at her gigantic belly.

“Well then,” she said, “I suspect I’m going to need a dress fitting.”

“Babe, this is ridiculous. Worse than ridiculous. It’s crazy.”

“This is the last thing, I promise. Then I’ll take it easy. It’s just an hour long set.”

“It’s not just an hour long set,” Brynn huffed at her. She was pacing around their bedroom, worry and irritation scrunching her pretty features. “You’ll rehearse, you’ll sound check, you’ll do the show, you’ll encore, it’s going to be a lot.”

“I’m not an invalid,” Savannah grimaced, her chest starting to feel tight. “Pregnant women everywhere work much harder jobs than standing around on a stage holding a mic for an hour!”

Brynn gave her a long, level stare. This was teetering close to the edge of dangerous ground for them. Bright afternoon sun was flooding their bedroom, making the expansive space glow. Their bedroom… Savannah still sometimes looked around this room that had once been hers alone and remembered the night just over three years ago when she’d sent Brynn away for what she believed was forever. She’d sat broken on the floor, right there, where Brynn now stood, tall and strong and heartbreakingly beautiful, the light making her dark hair glow with hints of caramel.

“Honey.” Savannah let her voice soften. “I’ll clear it with Imani.” Imani was their obstetrician, no nonsense and wonderful. “If she has a single concern, I promise I’ll cancel the show.”

Brynn nodded slowly.

“I just worry about you. About our baby,” she said quietly. “After everything.”

“I know.” Savannah let herself feel the warmth of that for once, rather than the weight. She knew how loved she was, how loved this child already was. Savannah, of all people, knew what an incredible gift that was. She looked at her wife and her heart swelled at how lucky they were to have her.

“And you can’t even get off the couch without groaning,” Brynn continued, oblivious.

“And it’s very sexy.” Savannah narrowed her eyes at her.