Graceless (Grace Notes #2)

“She orchestrated the deal for you, though, right?” Cassidy pushed. She wanted Brynn to see the hypocrisy of Savannah’s actions toward her own sister. To her surprise, Brynn laughed.

“God no. She was solidly not speaking to me at the time.” Cassidy blinked, and Brynn went on. “Don’t worry, I very much deserved it. She was still classy as hell about the deal, though. She didn’t make a fuss about us being label-mates, and in the press she always said generous things about me. But no, me getting a deal was a surprise to both of us.”

“If you’d been together though,” Cassidy pushed, “would she have gotten you a deal?”

Brynn looked reflective.

“I see what you’re getting at,” she looked her directly in the eye. “Yeah, Savannah believed in me as an artist, before anyone else – even me – did. And I suspect that had we been together at the time and I’d told her I wanted to pursue performing, she absolutely would have spoken with her connections about me.”

Cassidy felt vindicated.

“And yet-”

“And yet she hasn’t done the same for you, am I right?” Brynn spread out her hands on the table before her and Cassidy nodded emphatically. “It’s a good point,” she agreed. “But here are the differences.” She raised a finger to count. “One: I was thirty-one to your twenty-three-”

“Twenty-four in August,” Cassidy interrupted. “I’m hardly a child.”

“No. But it’s a rough business and I’d already tried and failed at other careers as I worked out my place in the world. You’re still starting out in life.” She held up a hand to stop her as Cassidy went to protest. “Two: you’re her little sister. The weight of expectation on me was very low; I was just an unknown. You, though, are the younger sibling of a superstar. People would have a lot of preconceived ideas about you.”

“They’d expect me to be great,” Cassidy agreed. “So I’d just have to prove them right.”

“No, they’d expect you to suck.” Brynn was deadly serious and Cassidy flinched. “Savannah was right about the nepo-baby baggage. They’d think you were riding on her famous coattails and skipping over everyone else who had to earn their own dues. Even if you were halfway good, there’s a chance the press and critics would savage you anyway on principle.”

Cassidy swallowed. Riding on Savannah’s coattails to skip the queue was exactly her plan. It would be stupid not to. Wouldn’t it?

Brynn watched her face for a moment as she saw the reality of that land. She smiled at her comfortingly.

“Of course, there’s also reason number three: she hasn’t even heard you perform. Yet.”

Chapter Six

Savannah ached. Her feet ached, her legs ached, her lower back particularly ached. She still had almost three months to go. She remembered the neat, cute little bump she’d had when she’d been pregnant the first time, with Tucker. This time around, at the age of thirty-eight and with her muscles already stretched, she felt gigantic. She pushed her way out the glass doors onto the patio and felt the wave of evening warmth rush to embrace her.

“Mama!” Tucker raced up and barrelled into her at top speed, wrapping his arms around her body and pushing his face against the top of the bump. Savannah swayed on her feet to stay upright.

“Honey.” She sucked in a breath and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “You gotta go easy on mama remember? There’s a big ole baby in here,” she pointed to the bump.

“Hi baby!” he greeted, unperturbed. Savannah wondered if he had any idea how much upheaval was coming for him. He’d start kindergarten in the fall, not long after he became a big brother, and would have to start sharing his parents – as well as his beloved Lane – with a small, demanding human. Her heart ached for the small boy who’d been the center of everyone’s worlds. She knew it would be good for him, especially in the long run, but in the short term, all she felt was guilt and grief for her first baby.

“Kid!” Lane caught up. “No more jumping on your mama! Jump on me if you gotta jump!” Tucker giggled. “Are you okay?” they asked her, looking concerned. “That looked like a hard hit.”

“We’re fine,” Savannah reassured them, patting her belly where the baby had definitely just woken up. She could feel them hiccuping. They both took a seat at the outdoor table, while Tucker did laps of the patio in the gently fading light, playing some kind of complicated game and chatting to himself.

“How are you doing?” Lane asked. They had treated Savannah like she was made of literal glass as soon as she and Brynn had broken the news to them. From the very beginning, they’d run around opening doors and offering to get her glasses of water constantly, even when all Savannah felt was low-grade nausea and exhaustion. Their solicitousness had only increased as the pregnancy progressed and while the sweetness of it was touching, Savannah occasionally felt like she needed to remind Lane that she was not their job.

“I’m good.” She smiled. Lane cocked their head, clearly not believing her and she sighed. “I’m exhausted,” she admitted. “Everything hurts and I hardly sleep at night. Then when I do…wild dreams.”

Around them the fields were lush and quiet and the linden trees planted as a windbreak along the east of the property whispered softly, their scent filling the air. The sky was streaked with pink and the cricket chorus sang.

“That sucks,” Lane said. “Starting T gave me wild dreams. They settled down after a few weeks, but for a while it felt like staying awake would be more relaxing.”

“Right?” Savannah emphasized. “I feel like I spend my whole night in some kind of surrealist movie theater. Then I wake up like what is going on with my brain?”

“Are you telling Lane about all your sex dreams?” Brynn arrived, and Savannah turned and shot her a look.

“I was telling them about my crazy dreams,” she corrected. “I said nothing about sex dreams!” She noticed Lane looking away and trying not to laugh.

“Mmhmm.” Brynn grinned unrepentantly and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. As she took a seat next to her, Savannah caught her mouthing sex dreams at Lane and elbowed her.