Force of Forever (All In #0.5)

She eyed her list, pleased with how manageable her new life looked on paper, despite how it felt in her brain. Pia could do pregnancy without a partner. She could release Matt completely, even from the back corners of her mind where his ocean eyes liked to roam. She could tackle motherhood one task, one week, at a time. She had no other choice.

Pia carried a steaming bowl oflumpiato the table, skirting around cousins and scarfing down one—okay, two—lumpiaas she went.

She moaned appreciatively, thankful that her nausea had lessened and food had started to entice her again. Her family had definitely noticed and commented on her continuing lack of appetite. Instead of getting puffy, she’d lost weight since becoming pregnant. She suspected today would be the first Sunday dinner in two months that she would be able to keep up with her brothers in food consumption.

Even her mood had improved. It had been a month since she’d told Matt about the baby. As she’d predicted, he hadn’t been in touch. But with her task list getting smaller thanks to some secret shopping, a sweet OB-GYN, and some helpful books on her Kindle, she felt more prepared for motherhood. The only weight dragging her down was how her parents would react when she finally told them.

Not today, she told herself. No, today was aboutfood.

She sat next to Ami at the picnic table in her parents’ backyard, nestling the bowl of hotlumpia, fresh from the fryer, onto the already crowded tabletop. Half a dozen hands shot into the bowl, arguments breaking out as her family snatched up the coveted appetizers. Her mom’s specialty.

She kept the seat next to her open for Carol, who had landed hours ago from Paris and was running extremely late. Pia did not miss how often her Tito Rey glared at the empty seat next to her before checking his phone. God, those two. Blech.

“You must be feeling good,” Ami commented, eyeing the plate Pia was piling up with green salad,pancit, and grilled chicken legs. All her favorites. She’d skipped theadobo. The smell was too strong. She added some fresh fruit salad topped with mint and started to dig in.

“I am. Really good. Finally.” She offered her cousin a genuine smile, grateful that she’d been a willing confidant over the past few weeks. She’d needed that support badly.

“Any word from—”

“Nope, and I’m fine with that,” Pia replied, cutting her off with a low voice. “Dream men are just that. Dreams.”

She hadn’t forgotten what she’d said to Ami before calling Matt that day. She’d described him as incredible, recalling the truly unforgettable night he’d given her in Paris, and how he’d seemingly shared every thought that had come into his head. Hehadbeen incredible, but now Pia could only see him as incredibly selfish or, more likely, incredibly afraid.

With her emotions more regulated, she could admit that she understood why Matt would balk at parenthood. His own parents were nothing but biological donors, and now bosses. For a man as invested in his endeavors as he seemed to be, taking on the responsibility of fatherhood with no real support or experience would be outside his comfort zone. Way outside. Further than space, she thought wryly, since she’d read that his space tourism company was officially live.

Not that she was swimming in the smoothest seas, either. But she had a plan. Pia had decided to contact him again once the baby came, give him another chance to be part of their family. She might give him many such chances. She would do whatever her child needed to thrive, even if that meant continued rejection and heartache for herself. Even if that meant never giving up on Matt.

For now, she’d offered him a smidge of forgiveness in her heart, and moved on.

She suppressed a sigh.

“What’s up, sour face?” goaded Felix, her eldest brother, from across the table. He stepped on her toe lightly for emphasis.

“I just painted my toenails, jerk.”

“Finally eating, I see. You weirdo. I was starting to worry you had cancer, or were pre—ow! Ami, what the hell? Why did you kick me?”

Ami shrugged. “Accident.”

Pia chuckled as she continued to attack her plate and catch up with her family. Ami, a social worker, had been dealing with some heavy cases that weighed her down. Pia’s other brother, Aron, had met a girl he liked in one of his classes. Felix was closed-mouthed about his life, as always. Her teenage cousins clustered together at the far end of the table ignoring everyone else. Her dad surveyed the scene like a king with his commoners, as usual. Typical Sunday dinner, minus Carol.

Her mom swooped by to grab Pia’s empty plate and brushed a hand over Pia’s loose hair. “Glad to see you eating again, pumpkin.” She planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“Thanks, mom.Pancitwas fab today.”

“Obviously,” her mom chided.

“Where is that woman?” Rey inquired from down the table as her mom went inside to start cleaning up.

Pia shrugged, popping open a sparkling water. “Stuck behind an accident on the freeway, maybe?”

“Here I am,” Carol’s voice rang out. “Sorry I’m late.”

Pia’s gaze moved to the back door where her friend stood.

With Matt freaking Geier.

She choked on the mouthful of water. Like, really choked. The full can dropped from her hand and spilled everywhere. Pandemonium broke loose. Felix bounded around the table to pound her back while her cousins sprinted over with napkins. Her dad started shouting questions at her she couldn’t answer. What was she choking on? Could she breathe? Did she need the Heimlich?