Force of Forever (All In #0.5)

He should have chuckled at her outburst. He should have scheduled some time on his calendar to go see her. He should have told her she’d be beautiful even puffy and covered in stretch marks. He should have promised to be there for her.

Matt couldn’t do any of those things. The right things. Not yet, not when nothing made sense.

“I’ve got to go, Pia.”

Her snort was full of disgust. “Got it. I’ll wait for you to be in touch.”

Her vicious voice played in his head all night. Her fear, like his, couldn’t be drowned by velvet wine, by darkness, by books or the TV. Not a damn thing Matt tried during that sleepless night drove her disappointment from his mind. His new title echoed louder than an exploding star.Father.

And already, a failure.

Matt felt sick as he drove into Victory the next morning. He couldn’t even choke down his coffee. Everything tasted bitter.

His drive was silent.Merde, hislifewas silent. After leaving his offices each day, he had no one to talk to. He’d only ever had Tate, and that arrangement, the two of them sharing their parents’ too-perfect Passy-area flat, had ended years ago.

As a father, if he could take that step, he’d probably never experience silence again. Instead, he’d hear screams and cries. Giggles and coos. He remembered Quinn as a baby. She’d been loud and sticky.

I plan to be the best mom I can be.

Pia would make a terrific mother. She’d be the kind of mom who made up silly games and served pancakes with candy in them and went all out on birthdays.

How badly would she struggle if he didn’t step up? If he couldn’t? If he let fear of failure keep him from trying?

Matt told himself he could send money. He could do some research and calculate what it cost to raise a child in America these days. He could make sure both Pia and her child were financially secure so she could be the kind of mom she wanted to be. Pia also had her family. Any child of hers would be blessed with an abundance of loving relatives nearby.

But the thought of a big check did not sit well.

The sight of OrbitAll’s hangar didn’t cheer him, either. The undulating aluminum building, the largest, newest structure in the tiny town of Victory, shone like a beacon. Change was coming to this town because of OrbitAll. Because of Matt. Change was coming to the whole world. He should be proud of that.

He didn’t feel proud. Not today.

He parked in the newly laid lot and walked inside through dry desert heat and wind. He’d never get used to the extremes after being raised in temperate climes.

He stopped at reception to speak with Luz, the office manager.

“Good morning, Mister Matt. Here’s your mail. I’ve forwarded three calls to your voicemail already this morning, and the board meeting has been moved to ten o’clock.”

“Merci, Luz.” Matt took the stack of mail from her and moved across the hall to his office.

Most of the offices in the three-story building remained empty. They’d fill as the project progressed, as the Geier Group released more money. The sleek, luxurious spaceplane that he’d conceived of on a napkin one night in a bar had moved into research and development. Their spacecraft would feel like first class on the world’s poshest airlines but be designed around endless views of Earth and all that lay beyond. And, if the next few years went the way he planned, the process for customers would be as easy as buying a plane ticket, though much more costly.

Matt was selling tickets to space, a destination humans had yearned for for millennia. He really should be proud of that idea. No, that reality. He was making space tourism a reality.

His head dropped into his hands.

OrbitAll could be his life. His legacy. This office, the desert commute he’d just traversed, morning greetings from Luz, the dedication to other people’s dreams of a luxury experience unlike any other. That’s what Matt’s next five to ten years could look like.

Or it could look very different.

His future—his legacy—could look like chubby cheeks and drool. Like first steps and long nights. Instead of board members and colleagues, his life could instead be filled with a beaming beauty who made him laugh, who made his body and soul respond in ways they hadn’t before.

Since he’d met her, Matt had been drawn to Pia like a flower to sun. Maybe he was tired of the darkness.

Fuck.

Matt didn’t know what to do or who to call. Not even Tate, younger by four years, could help him through the toughest decision of his life. He rubbed his cheeks roughly andfeltthrough his options.

Stay and succeed. Walk the path laid out for him since birth, the familiar road of an idea followed by action and profit. Live predictably, as he’d always done.