Diamond Kisses (The Jewelry Box #4)

“I’m okay.” I gave him a half smile. “Truly. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Did you meditate today? That always helps.”

“I tried, but I can’t seem to calm my mind enough.”

“Me either.” Resting his head against the stone, he sighed. “I just want it over with. The waiting is driving me insane.” He closed his eyes, and silence fell again.

I studied him, searching for signs of fever or regression in his strength.

I longed to check his pulse for myself. To press my ear against his chest and listen to how strong his heartbeat thundered. I needed it to be strong. I needed him to—

“You’re still worrying about me,” he groaned, his eyes still closed. “I can feel it. I told you…stop that.”

I laughed quietly.

It didn’t surprise me that he’d sensed me.

The connection between us no longer shocked or fascinated us.

It was just there.

A link made of love. A bridge between his soul and mine.

I dreaded to think how much that bridge would torment us when Victor’s training began.

Which led me back to my horrors and everything I wanted to say to him but didn’t know how.

Now’s the time.

It might be the only time.

We would never destroy each other, but…watching each other be hurt would definitely achieve it.

“Henri…” Taking my hand off Peter’s head so I wouldn’t feed him my fear, I scrunched up the blanket in my lap. “I need…I want you to promise me…”

When I didn’t finish, Henri gave me a soft smile. “You want me to promise you that I won’t fight back. That I’ll do what he asks so he won’t—”

“No!” I sat upright, my heart drumming. “No, not at all. I-I meant…I don’t think I’ll be able to watch Victor use you. Don’t give in. Don’t give him what he wants.”

He scowled. “But if I don’t, he’ll hurt you.”

“He’s already raped me once.” I braced my shoulders with bravery I didn’t feel. “I didn’t watch then, and I won’t watch in the future. It’s just sex—”

“Just sex? What the fuck are you saying?”

“Let him have me instead of you. My body is equipped—”

“Equipped? Why? Because you’re a woman and not a man?” His voice wobbled with rage. “Of all the things you could’ve asked me, Ily.”

Before I could reply, he roared, “It’s not just fucking sex, little nightmare. It’s violence. It’s degradation. If you think I’d willingly, actively, make him hurt you instead of me.” He scoffed with a cold laugh. “Fuck, how could you even ask that of me? Of course, I’ll do what he wants if it means protecting you. Of course, I’ll give him my body if it means you go untouched. What sort of man would I be if I didn’t? What sort of monster could—”

“You’re not a monster!” I shouted over him. “That’s the point! You’ve already suffered so much. In your childhood and here and I can’t…” Stinging tears shot to my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. “I won’t be able to watch him break you, Hen. I just…I can’t do it. Let him have me instead of you. If you get strong enough, you can find a way to—”

“I’m not letting him lay another fucking finger on you, Ily! I vowed that the night he raped you. And I’m not going back on my word. Even if it kills me.”

“But don’t you see? It will kill me watching him hurt you!”

“Then do what you’re so good at and don’t watch!” Henri snarled and yanked at the chain, trying to pull it out of the wall like the countless other times he’d tried. When he didn’t succeed, he punched his pillow with enough violence to make me shiver. His rage fanned out in the small space, licking at my ankles and tainting my blood to fight.