Dead of Summer

What am I? I want to ask, the question whispering through my head. I’m not sure if I’d ever have the ability or confidence to ask him that out loud. I don’t know if I want to know the answer.

Who am I kidding? I’m burning with the need to know what he means.

Kayde must see that too. His cold grin widens, and he leans down just as he releases his grip on my jaw. I can finally pull my tongue comfortably back into my mouth, his saliva burning on my tongue as it seeps down my throat.

Except I barely get the chance to swallow. Kayde’s mouth is there, worrying at my lips, demanding entrance to my mouth. I whine, unsure of what he wants, but let him in without argument so he can explore every bit of my mouth he can in a filthy, long as hell kiss that leaves me breathless.

The moment he pulls away, I open my mouth to say something, only for him to spit sharply again, stopping me.

“Swallow it,” he reminds me, when I stare at him in shock at how much more crass this one had felt. How much filthier in its own way.

Though it’s certainly not bad. And no less enjoyable, though I refuse to admit that to anyone other than myself.

“Thank—” My throat closes around the words, and I curl my fingers into his, nails pricking at his skin. “Thank you.” That’s the hardest part. I sure as hell don’t want to thank him. My mind is still spinning from his words, from his ‘threat’ of fucking me like he’s my boyfriend.

“You have three more seconds to ask me what you are,” Kayde tells me mildly, fingers flexing at the base of my throat.

“Tell me.” I don’t mean to say it. I don’t know how I open my mouth and breathe the words up at him. But somehow, that’s what comes out.

“Gladly, sweetheart.” He leans back down again, his lips only inches from mine and his eyes holding my gaze. “I’m just reminding you that you’re mine.” With that, he licks a stripe up my jaw, up over my cheek, and pulls away just to do it again. “Marks will fade. You could wash your face to get rid of any trace I’ve been here. But when I spit in your mouth and make you swallow it? When I come in your cunt tonight and pin you down with my cock still in your pussy so my cum doesn’t go anywhere? Well…” He kisses me again, just as harshly.

“You can’t get rid of those so easily. And maybe I’ll be gone tomorrow, but you’ll have to wake up with my cum dripping out of your cunt and the taste of me staining your mouth. Doubt you’ll forget it anytime soon once I’m done with you. I’ll make sure it’s enough to hold you over for a bit.” He leans down to lick at my still-bloody lip, while my head spins and I try to figure out what he means by hold you over.

Fuck it, I think at last, as his hands tug at my shirt. Him trying to confuse me, trying to distract me, isn’t going to work so well tonight. At least not yet. Though I can’t say for certain how long that will last when he’s kissing me like he’s forcibly trying to drag me out of a coma after eating a poisoned apple.

“You’re awful,” I murmur when he pulls away. “But I don’t get…” I trail off, hating that the words have come out before I could stop them.

And now he’s curious. I can feel it in the way he looks at me and the soft growl he produces when his lips run up my jaw. “What don’t you get, sweetheart?” he breaths against my cheek. “Let me enlighten you.”

I really shouldn’t let my mouth move faster than my brain. Not that I know how to stop it, really, when I’ve always been like this. My hands twist in his grip again, fruitlessly. When I proceed to moan about it, Kayde just fixes me with the look and squeezes his hand around my wrists. Not quite painfully. Just…reminding me I’m not going anywhere.

“Use your words, baby,” he says, still close enough that I feel his breath on my lips. “Gonna need you to tell me what you’re confused about?—”

“It’s about what you said.” I can’t help how flustered I am, and I certainly can’t help how I squirm in his hold like I’ve been caught doing something bad. He makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, and shy, and inexperienced all at once. It’s ridiculous. It’s stupid.

It’s hot as fuck.

“What about it, hmm?” He nudges my jaw with his nose, and lets go of my neck to drag my thigh further up over his hip. “I don’t know what I’ve done to confuse you, baby.”

If he calls me that one more time, I’m going to do something incredibly stupid that’ll make him leave faster than any safeword ever could. But I lock the words behind my teeth and swallow hard, trying not to get lost in the haziness of how flustered I am and how new this is.

My brain just seems to be along for the ride, and for a few moments, all I can do is stare at him like he’s hung the damn moon.

Get a hold of yourself, I chastise myself, blinking hard. “I don’t understand how fucking me like you’re my boyfriend is any different from how you normally fuck me,” I mutter at last, feeling like an idiot who’s missing something obvious.

But his grin widens on his lips, and he brushes a kiss over mine. “You’re so nosy. And you have no patience,” he informs me, thankfully not using the b word again. “Why can’t you just wait and see, hmm? Why can’t you be patient for me? Don’t you want to be good?”

Scratch that. This is much worse than him calling me baby.

My brain does that thing where I’m pretty sure it’s short circuiting, and my stomach flips. I’m squirming under him again, but it’s less me trying to escape and more of me working out some of the nervous energy that vibrates through me.

Naturally, Kayde catches it all. His eyes darken and he looks me over like I’ve done something interesting, when in my opinion, I’m just a mess. “I’m going to go out on a limb, baby,” he begins, sending a shiver up my spine that I’m sure he feels in my wrists. Sure enough, his smile widens, and he moves to sit more comfortably with my legs hooked over his hips. “You’re not very experienced with kink or its terms, are you?”

Unsure if I should be embarrassed, I shake my head.

“So if I ask you about subspace, you won’t know what I mean?”

I hesitate, trying to remember if I’ve ever heard the term before. No, I definitely don’t think I have. But then again, he’s right. I don’t have a lot of experience with kink outside of Kayde. Finally, I shake my head and take a quick breath before asking, “What is it?”