Dead of Summer

So why can’t I convince myself of that fact? And the fact I’m better off when he’s far, far away.

Pulling open the door with a little, mostly silent groan, I’m hit with the noise of the kids in the dining hall, and let my eyes roam over the room. As I’d expected, my kids are mixed in with Kinsley’s, and sitting at a large table near her and Liza.

No one really takes notice of me as I head to the little window in front of the kitchen, where food is still steaming and ready for anyone to pick up. Deftly I make myself a plate, taking a grilled cheese and bag of queso flavored chips. Then I hesitate before letting my hand dart out to grab a small container of ranch to dunk my grilled cheese in.

Is it healthy? No. None of this is. But it’s going to be so good. Especially with the can of soda I snag from behind the counter, where the kids can’t reach them. While we don’t deprive the kids of sugar, if we allowed them free rein on sugary drinks and carbonation, none of us would ever get any sleep.

Ever.

When I turn around, I gasp and nearly drop my plate, not expecting to see Kayde right there. “What the fuck?” I breathe, nearly climbing onto the ledge of the window behind me. “God, Kayde, I didn’t even hear you.”

His neutral expression changes, a sly, arrogant grin sliding across his full lips. “Figured,” he admits, tilting his head to the side. “You were really into that ranch and hunting for a soda.” His eyes flit downward so he can scrutinize my plate, and I swear I see his lips twitch in bemusement as he looks at my dinner of champions. “That’s so unhealthy,” he points out, and steps forward until we’re almost pressed together. We would be, I think, if I hadn’t been holding the plate that I’m now clutching for dear life.

“What are you doing?” I murmur, staring up at his face as he rummages for something behind me.

“Bothering you, obviously,” Kayde points out, withdrawing to plunk an apple onto my plate. “You don’t eat oranges, right?”

“Citric acid bothers my stomach.” The reply is instant, like it always is. But I’m more surprised that he’s noticed, yet again, what I do and don’t eat.

Almost automatically, my gaze goes over his shoulder, scanning the rest of the hall. Most of the kids and counselors don’t seem to notice anything is amiss. They don’t look up, and aren’t looking at me. Even Kinsley only spares me a quick glance, winks dramatically, and leans sideways to whisper something in Liza’s ear that has her looking my way with raised brows and a small smile.

Great. I’m going to hear all about that later, I’m sure.

But they aren’t what makes my heart skip a few beats. No, that honor goes to Darcy and the look on her face as she watches me. Or, more likely, watches Kayde.

My fingers tighten on the plate, and I look up at the blond to find him studying my face. “Your girlfriend is staring at us,” I tell him quietly, even though there’s no way she could hear me even at normal volume over the din of voices in Otter Hall.

“My…” His brows knit, and he looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “My what?” Kayde repeats, patience forced into the words.

“Your girlfriend. My safe word,” I repeat, unable to keep the small, almost unfriendly smirk off of my face. I don’t look at her again. I definitely don’t need her knowing that I’m watching her, even though I don’t find it to be that offensive of a crime.

But any good humor falls from Kayde’s face at my words, and he rolls his eyes while letting out a low, exasperated groan. “Don’t call her my girlfriend,” he requests, shifting his shoulders like he’s now aware of Darcy’s stare burning a hole into his back. “You know she’s not.”

“Does she know that? Because judging from the way she’s staring at us, she thinks I’m some kind of home-wrecker ruining her happy life with you. Too bad she doesn’t know what you’re really like, huh?”

“Yeah.” He lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “Too bad she doesn’t know, huh? But I don’t think she’d be as into it as you are, Miss screams when she’s bitten.”

Oh. Oh, that’s kind of embarrassing to hear, and humiliation floods my cheeks with heat at his words. Some amount of self-satisfaction comes back to his face, and it somehow serves to make him familiar again.

The monster I know, instead of the Kayde that looks at me in ways that I can’t quite figure out and maybe make me a little unsure.

“Eat your apple, sweetheart,” Kayde purrs, rolling his shoulders back and straightening. “Wouldn’t want you to pass out in front of Kinsley. She might think I did something wrong.” As I watch his kind, Lassie face falls back into place, and he whirls around to stride away from me, heading in the direction of Darcy and Daniel.

I don’t watch him. Not openly, at least. Though I do eye him as I walk to my best friend and her girlfriend, balancing my plate in one hand. He breezes by Darcy but sits next to Daniel on his other side. I see Darcy’s lips move, and her chin jerks in my direction.

Whatever it was, Kayde doesn’t even look at her, let alone give her some kind of answer. Her face falls, but when she looks at me, I give no sign of noticing. Instead, I slide into a chair across from Kinsley and sigh, my back hitting the plastic of the chair heavily while I let my plate and soda slide to the table in front of me.

“I couldn’t sleep anymore,” I admit, though I crack a yawn a few seconds after the words leave my mouth. “I was getting bored and missing my feral children.”

“They’ve been talking about you all day,” Liza admits, sitting back against the arm Kinsley has draped across the back of her chair. They look so comfortable like this. Cozy and sweet. Like they care a lot for each other and not just in a romantic sense.

Yet again, I’m jealous.

“They think you’re still messed up from the boys almost drowning you,” Kinsley adds, finishing off her sandwich. She scoots a stick of celery around on her plate, and I watch her mess with it while peeling the foil lid off of my ranch.

“Please tell me they didn’t try to summon a demon to seek revenge on Daniel’s cabin,” I sigh, tearing my grilled cheese into pieces so they’re more easily dunkable into the ranch. Something churns in my stomach, and it might be guilt that I still haven’t thanked Kayde for sending Kinsley to my cabin with breakfast for me.

It makes me feel like a bad person, and no amount of reminding myself that Kayde is a monster, a murderer, and two-faced, serves to make that feeling go away.