Dead of Summer

I can’t do this. That thought runs through my head on repeat. I can’t do this with him. There’s no fucking way in hell.

Yet I can’t shake my head, either. I can’t pull out of this deal now, when I don’t know what else to do.

“Are you thinking that this buys you time?” His hands come up to my side, ax forgotten somewhere on the ground, and he lightly grips my hips in his large hands. “That when I agree to this, you’ll just go tell Kins and the two of you will save the day? Hmm?” His face turns so he can nuzzle his lips against my hair. “That’s a good idea…except you have no proof. And if you do that, then I’d have to teach you a lesson. While you might get the cops out here, I think I can do a lot of damage in the forty-two minutes it’ll take them to show up. You won’t do that to Kinsley, or Liza, or your kids, right? You’d never hurt them like that.”

Fuck.

Oh fuck. My fingers tighten their grip on his shirt, and for a moment I wish I could do something to him. I want to stab him, to claw out his throat. To throw him off of a cliff and then run back to camp before he can make some unholy reappearance like in the movies.

But this isn’t a movie, and I’m not emotionally equipped to be the final girl of a summer camp massacre.

All I can do is close my eyes hard and nod in quick, short movements that feel like they’re being wrenched out of me.

“Gonna need more than a nod, sweetheart,” Kayde purrs against my temple. “Gonna need you to tell me exactly what you’re agreeing to, so I know we’re on the same page.”

I try. God, I try, and it takes longer than it should for me to find my voice and look up at him with wide, terrified eyes that probably seem a lot like a terrified baby deer’s. “I’ll do anything for you.” Once I start, it’s a little easier to keep going, though I stumble through the words when my eyes meet his. “For the rest of camp. I-I’ll do whatever you want. So long as you don’t make me hurt anyone or make me do anything embarrassing in front of anyone else here.” I probably don’t have the high ground to set parameters for this agreement, but he doesn’t protest or disagree.

“And I agree that as long as you keep your side of the deal, I won’t kill anyone.” He’s a lot less nervous and unsure than I am. He just sounds amused. As if this is an unexpected, yet fun, development to his night.

And, well, maybe it is.

But it’s certainly becoming the worst night of my life.

“Color me surprised.” His chuckle shatters the moment, and I’m finally able to drop my hands and step away from Kayde. “Guess I have to go clean up. I’ve been getting my shit together for this since dinner, you know?” Kayde sounds almost indignant; like I’m making him clean up his toys and come in early.

I let out a breath as I watch him, my hands curling into fists. “Is that—I mean are you?—”

“Nah, I won’t ruin the rest of your night, Summer,” Kayde chuckles, knowing what I’d intended on asking, apparently. “Like I said, you kind of surprised me here.” His smile is sheepish and innocent.

Like the mask Kayde wears during the day.

It makes my throat burn to see it; to see the easy shift from monster to beloved counselor.

“So I don't have too many planned out ideas of what I want from you just yet. I’ll think of some tonight though, don’t worry.” He flashes a grin at me, and I can only stare back at him with narrowed eyes.

“Then, I can go?” Everything in me begs to get away from him. I want to find my bed and jump into it, then pull the covers over my head like he won’t be able to get me that way.

“Hmmm.” Kayde still sounds so fucking playful and sweet that I clench my hands into fists at my sides and just watch him while I hope that nothing about me betrays how I feel about him.

Not that it’s a big secret. He obviously knows I’m certainly not fond of him.

“Well, since you’ve ruined my whole ‘trauma bonding’ plan, how about you at least give me the best part of it?” He unzips the jacket he’s wearing, and shoves the sleeves up over his toned forearms, until they’re bunched in the curve of his elbows. “Let me kiss you.”

That sounds innocent enough. At least, innocent amongst all the terrible, painful things my brain seems intent on conjuring up. Hell, it’s almost a relief when he asks for it, and I dip my head without even stopping to think.

“Okay.” Not like I could say no, anyway.

“A little more enthusiasm on your end wouldn’t hurt.” Kayde laughs, though he’s already stepping into my space again, his hands coming up to my hips. “I’ve been imagining it, you know.” His voice turns to a whisper as he leans forward, nose brushing mine. “How it would feel. How sweet your lips would be.” His mouth nudges mine; asking rather than telling. He kisses me sweetly, mouth insistent as he asks for entrance between my lips.

I don’t have a choice. I give it to him, my own hands move to press against his chest hesitantly, in case this isn’t allowed. But, well, he’d said enthusiasm, hadn’t he?

Lost in my thoughts, I miss the subtle change from sweet back to monster. I miss the warmth seeping out of him, until his hands run up my sides and one of them grabs my jaw harshly, finger and thumb digging hard into my cheeks.

Letting out a cry of surprise, I try to jerk backward, only for his other hand to wind in my tee and drag me forward across the grass, until our bodies are pressed together, and he’s able to tilt my head back to meet his wide, feral grin.

“But like I said…you ruined that part of my night,” Kayde growls, teeth very white in the near darkness. “So you get this instead, sweetheart. Open your mouth.”

I find myself clenching my teeth together hard at the order, though I wince when that just causes his fingers to dig into the muscle there. When he presses harder, it forces my jaw open, and my lips part around a pained gasp that accompanies the wet burn in my eyes.