Darkest Sins (Perfectly Imperfect #9)

“Anything and everything they could think of. Don’t ask me to put those images in your head, cub. Please. Just . . . don’t.”

“How long?”

“Three years.”

A pained howl leaves my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face against his chest. All those new scars I saw on his body make sense now. “But you escaped?”

“I didn’t. My . . . friends came to rescue me. I didn’t know Ihadfriends. I never expected that anyone would ever come for me. Especially those two idiots. They nearly blew me up along with the rest of the compound where I was held captive. Fucking Belov and his obsession with explosives. I’m going to kill him next time I see him. And then, that motherfucker Az pumped me with enough sedative to put down a goddamn elephant. I’m killing him too, the first opportunity I get.”

“They saved your life.” I nuzzle his neck with my nose. “You should be thanking them.”

“I don’t thank people.”

“I know. But maybe you could make an exception this time?”

“I’ll think about it.” A kiss lands in my hair. Silence reigns for several long minutes before he speaks again.

“I was half dead when Az and Belov got me out and brought me back to the US. It took me a couple of weeks until I was functional enough to track down the bastard who set me up and kill him. My old boss. He knew about us, and I didn’t want to risk him coming after you once he realized I was back.” His fingers are in my hair, gently tugging. “After, I came back to Boston andwatched over you from afar. Even though I knew you weren’t mine anymore. Not after what I did. I thought I lost you, cub.”

“You never lost me.” I kiss his chin. Then his collarbone. “I was always only yours. Even when I believed that I’d never see you again.” I sweep the strands of hair from his face, then kiss his cheek. “Even when I believed that you forgot me or no longer cared.”

“Forgot you?” He grabs me around the waist and flips us around, pinning me under his weight. “How could one forget the sole light in the miserable darkness of his life?” His rough palm glides down my rib cage and hip, then lower. A long slow caress of his finger through my folds before he slides his cock inside. Sucking in a breath, I grab his shoulders. I’m still sore after the frenzy of our earlier lovemaking, but it doesn’t matter. I lift my hips, taking more of him. Needing to feel more of him in me.

“While I was confined, most of the time I didn’t know where I was. Or if it was day or night. And sometimes, I didn’t even knowwhoI was.” He pulls out and lowers his head until his face is a hair’s breadth above mine. “But even though I was delirious, disconnected from reality, scattered flashes from my memories kept invading my mind.” He slides back inside, sinking deeper. “A red scarf. Warm hands, sewing up my skin. The taste of chocolate cake.” His hand grips my chin, tilting my head for a kiss. “Soft voice, reading some nonsense about cows to me, while a delicate finger moved under the words so I could follow.”

“Kai . . .” His name comes out as a strangled moan.

The moonlight streaming through the window is falling onto him, bathing his rugged face in a pale glow. I can see his eyes now, gleaming like two silver flames, burning into mine. Two stellar beacons with immeasurable gravitational pull. And I—Iam their willing captive, ready to fall in. I never imagined that I’d have someone who’d look at me like that.

“You, my tiger cub, were the only thing I remembered.” He lowers his head and buries himself inside me. “My everything.”

Chapter 34

“I’m hungry.”

I turn around, my eyes zeroing in on the owner of the tiny voice. Lucia is standing at the threshold, her head tilted to the side as she watches me with interest clear in her wide, pale eyes. My eyes. My heartrate skyrockets, thundering so hard and fast that I nearly feel each punch on the inner structure of my ribs. Our child. My daughter. The urge to hold her in my arms is clawing at me. But I’m too trepid to make a move.

Last night, Nera told me all about Lucia. And later, she let me know how she came to be the head of Cosa Nostra in Boston. For the past three years, she’s been stuck in a fucking nightmare, and even though she didn’t say so with her words, I know she willingly dropped herself into this shitpit to protect our little girl. She had to be strong, and she was. My fearless tiger cub.

After Nera fell asleep, I snuck out of the bedroom and tiptoed to the room next door. I stood in the doorway and watched Lucia’s little sleeping form. I didn’t dare to come any closer, simply listened to her breathe as she lay curled under her fluffy yellow blanket. Then, around three in the morning, I crouched by my baby’s bed and watched her cherubic face. She looks just like Nera when she’s sleeping. I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight.

My daughter.

It felt like I was observing a miracle. How could something so perfect and innocent ever come from me? Would I taint her if I touched her? Would I stain her with my sins?

Her tiny hand was resting on a pillow, and I wanted to reach out and take it in my own. That yearning was so powerful that I had to grab onto the frame of the bed so my hands wouldn’t wander to her uncoerced. When I finally made myself leave, I couldn’t even stay away for fifteen minutes. I returned and spent the rest of the night watching Lucia sleep. Once dawn broke, I headed back to Nera’s bedroom, fearful that my daughter would be frightened if she woke up and saw me at her side.

“I’m hungry, Rapunzel-boy.” Another tiny whisper, but more determined now than before.

I blink. Rapunzel-boy? Must be the hair. I just had a shower and didn’t braid it as I normally do. Lucia scrunches her tiny nose at me and spins around, running away. I dash after her.

The plush carpet muffles the sound of her small feet as she hurries into the kitchen area and stops next to the high chair positioned at the breakfast bar. She looks up at me and raises her hand, a teddy bear clutched in her grasp. Is she offering me her toy?

“Up,” she says, bouncing on her tiptoes.

I don’t understand what she’s asking and feel like a complete idiot.

“I’m hungry. Up.”