Lib Novel Page 61
“I don’t know, cub.” His hand lifts to my face, the tip of his finger tracing the line of my left brow, then down my nose and to my lips with cautious, gentle movements. “What do you want to happen?”
My heartbeat picks up as I gather the courage to speak. “I want you to stay. And I don’t mean only today.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Go home. Pack. And come back here.” I smile. “It’s not that hard.”
“That’s not what I meant.” His hand cups my cheek, and his thumb strokes the skin under my eye. “I don’t know how to live a life like yours. The things you know about me—those arejust a murky surface on the black pond of my existence. I’m too fucked-up to live among normal people, cub.”
“Then, we’ll unfuck you.”
A sad smile tugs at his lips. “I’m not one of your animals, Nera. Some things cannot be stitched back together.”
“We can try.”
“Is that the life you want for yourself?” He clenches his jaw. “Wouldn’t you rather have a nice, educated man like you deserve?”
“Is that what you think?” I lean forward, getting in his face. “So if I say yes, you’d just leave me again?”
“I’m never going to leave you,” he says. “Even if I wanted to, I know I never could. I’ll be watching over you till the day I die, cub. And as long as I live, no one will dare touch a hair on your beautiful head.”
“Will you be watching over me even when I walk down the aisle and pledge myself to aniceandeducatedman?” I bite out and shove his chest.
His face is completely blank, showing zero emotion, but the thumb stroking under my eye goes still.
“Will you hide in some corner while I give myself to him the way I gave myself to you?” I continue. “Are you going to watch when hetakesme on the kitchen island while I scream in pleasure?”
The rigor overtakes his whole body, only his heart seems to be functioning. I can feel its thunderous beat under my palm. Something dangerous flashes in his eyes as they peer into mine, but he still doesn’t utter a word.
I lean forward until my lips almost touch his. “Will you let me belong to someone else, demon?”
Will you be watching over me even when I walk down the aisle and pledge myself to a nice and educated man?
A continuous high-pitched tone rings inside my ears, mixing with Nera’s voice. It began as a faint buzzing when I forced myself to tell her that she should be with someone else, but now, the frequency has shot up, bouncing inside my skull like a vengeful drill.
Will you hide in some corner while I give myself to him the way I gave myself to you?
Images fill my mind, scenes of her kissing a faceless man while he has her pinned against the wall. Then, the vision shifts and rearranges to Nera sprawled on the kitchen island, her face flustered and bathed in sweat. Not a bittersweet memory but a haunting, because it’s not me pounding into her. That shrilling sound in my head skyrockets, and white dots appear before my eyes.
. . . let me belong to someone else, demon?
“Over my dead body,” I growl.
Grabbing her around the waist, I roll us until I’m lying on top of her. “I don’t care how much better than me themotherfucker is, or if he’s more worthy of you. I will fucking gut any man who comes within fifteen feet of what is mine.”
“Good.” Her mouth ascends, pressing to my lips. “Because there is no one better than you. Not for me.”
I take her face between my palms, raining kisses on her lips, nose, eyes . . . everywhere I’ve imagined kissing her but haven’t dared. Monsters like me are not allowed to dream, and I never have. Not until I met her. For the first time in my life, I see the possibility of having something of my own. Her. My tiger cub.
“I’m going to buy us a house,” I mumble as I trail my lips down her neck. “And a few dozen acres of land around it so you can have your animals. No other people nearby. I hate neighbors and I don’t want any.”
“That sounds expensive.” She giggles as I kiss her earlobe.
“I have money.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t spend it all on a house.”
“Unless you want me to buy the whole damn state, I’m good.” I return to her neck. The spot under her ear is my favorite, I think.