Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

I’m already thinking too much about his butt.

“Oh, please.” She yanked my elbow, dislodging my attempt at protecting my innocent ears from dirty words such as Mr. Carson’s wiener.

I mean cock.

I mean…don’t think about his penis.

She giggled. “You really need to get laid.”

“I was just thinking the same about you.”

“Perhaps we can double date and fix both our problems.” Polly smiled.

“Ms. Fairfax!” A masculine growl came through the crack in the door behind Amanda. “I’m pressed for time and this dog needs attention. Can you hurry up and put the poor creature out of its misery?”

“Oh my God.” I slapped my forehead. “Does he have an on/off switch? Can’t he have a second’s worth of patience like a normal person?”

“Do you want me to tell him to make an appointment?” Amanda tugged the end of her black ponytail.

“No!” Polly squeezed my shoulder before not so subtly shoving me toward the door. “Vesper will do her job. Won’t you, Vessie?”

Nope.

“You go do it.” I fought her pushy pushing. “Go play with his wiener.”

“No way. You’re the one who made him that way. First impressions and all that—this is your fault, and he’s your client now and always.”

“How the hell do you figure it’s my fault?” I whirled on her. “You’re seriously blaming this on me?”

She held up her hands. “Hey, you shouldn’t have been all ‘Why, yes, Mr. Carson, we were just closing but I’ll look at your Cockapoo right away.’”

“It wasn’t a Cockapoo.” I crossed my arms. “And it’s called a business. I was providing a good service, Pol.”

She laughed. “Doesn’t matter. You let him dictate your time.”

This argument was getting on my nerves. “He was a new client. We’d only been open a few weeks.”

“All the more reason to remain nice to our customers.”

“Can’t I just be nice to the animals and not the humans?”

Polly smirked, pushing me unwillingly toward the door. “No.”

“Why?” I whinged as Amanda disappeared to tell him I was at the mercy of his numerous demands.

“Because the humans have the money. And we needz it.” Spanking my ass, Polly blew me a kiss. “Now shoo. Go and give that man’s wiener extra special attention.”

I flipped her the bird as I vanished out the door.

CHAPTER TWO

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Ryder

FUCKING FINALLY.

Took her long enough.