Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

“My lips are sealed in the future.” Ves slinked her arms around me. “Unless it’s utterly mind blowing and then…who knows.”

I chuckled. “I suppose I should be grateful that you find me awesome enough that you want to share.”

Vesper’s eyes darkened as her arm squeezed me. “Talking of grateful. I seem to remember a text or two last night discussing—”

“Right, that’s enough of that. I’m already annoyed at you both.” Rupert laughed. “I just got a cavity watching this sweet gag fest.”

“Oh, you too?” Polly batted her eyelashes. “I’ve made a dentist appointment for next week. You’re welcome to join me.”

Rupert’s face spilt into a wide grin. “You know, I’m not so happy with your friend over there, but I already like you.”

“I’m reserving judgement for now, but I appreciate the compliment.” Polly smiled.

Oh shit, Rupert had once again turned on the charm.

Time to move this party inside.

Wrapping my arm around Vesper’s shoulders, I said, “Enough, all of you. This was supposed to be a sensible luncheon not a pick on Vesper and Ryder fest.”

“You brought it upon yourself, dude.” Rupert pointed at me. “The moment you sighed on the phone that night—this is what you earned.”

I hung my head. This would be painful. Rupert’s ribbings always were.

He still wouldn’t let me live down my last year of high school when my girlfriend of nine months suddenly decided she wanted to get married before we became ‘adults’. I said no. She lost the plot. She told everyone—and I meant everyone in every grade and year—that I had crabs. When I tried to defend myself, she pulled down my pants and sprayed my junk with whipped cream saying crabs had turned to chlamydia.

It was a lie obviously.

And needless to say, it was not a good day.

He liked to remind me about it because I hadn’t fought back.

I’d given up trying to clear my name and Michelle effectively won.

She even tried to cajole me back into her bed.

And because I’d been completely ostracised by everyone, and no girl would come near me…I’d even fucking considered it.

He was right.

I’d been a pussy.

But I learned my lesson: don’t date crazy.

And now look who’d won the love lottery?

Rupe said, “Righto, all this sarcasm is making me hungry. Who’s with me?”

Polly put her hand up. “Me!”

“I’m liking you more and more.” Patting her hand wrapped around his arm, Rupe grinned. “Let’s put some distance between us and this diabetic couple. We have shameful childhood memories to share.”

He threw me a smile, escorting the best friend I needed on my good side through the foyer and kitchen out onto the deck where warm sunshine already painted the back garden with tree stencils. A few dogs not in the barn rolled around, enjoying the heat.

The past week, I’d been able to find homes for three pooches—including the wiener, Pikachu, and the nasty Pomeranian, Gremlin.

Long may her new family rest in peace.

Even with the new additions I’d picked up, I missed the terrible mutt. I also had a persistent woman who’d messaged me through my website the past few days asking to come view my remaining rescues.