Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

Unless it was with Ryder.

And it was his perfect package.

I slept with a smile on my face.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

———————

Ryder

“NOW, YOU BETTER BE ON your best fucking behaviour, Rupe. Got it?”

My brother groaned for the millionth time since I’d barged into his guest room where I’d plonked him last night after too many beers. We’d had a great night catching up, chatting about Singapore, his business, and any tail he’d recently tapped.

To my surprise, he’d been as dry in that area as I had been. And after one too many coronas, he’d even admitted that he was sick of sleeping around and lying about his name and bank balance. The next girl he shacked up with would be ‘the one.’

He successfully shoved me over with a feather at that confession.

My brother…the ‘monogamy avoider’, suddenly wanted a wife.

Go figure.

Well, he can’t have mine.

You don’t have a wife.

Shut up.

I’m working on it.

Oh shit, I’m talking to myself.

I hadn’t been this nervous hosting a small gathering since I was sixteen and threw an illegal party in one of my parents’ renovation rentals. It ended up way out of control, police were called, damages were paid for out of my measly labouring wage, and I swore partying was for losers.

“What’s got up your butt? Afraid I’m gonna chase away your girlfriend?” Rupert raked his hands through his thick dark hair that (if I was honest) needed a cut. The scruffy bad boy image screamed, ‘I have a surfboard and ten bucks to my name. Want to blow me?’ Instead of what some scissors and a razor blade could deliver: ‘I’m worth more than a small country and want to settle down with a wholesome, sweet woman. Dinner?’

Perhaps while he was in town, I’d help straighten him out in more areas than just helping him de-stress. He worked too much. Drank too much.

He needs to chill.

Clearing my throat, I said, “Afraid? Nope. Terrified? Yep.”

“Don’t be such a pussy.”

“I’m being rational. You have this uncanny ability to screw things up.”

Rupert grinned as he poured himself a mug of caffeine from the instant coffee pot. I preferred gourmet lattes, but we had a late start today and just got back from a mad rush around the store to get a shit load of food for a BBQ.

Despite having lots of animals on the property, and loving every creature great and small, I still ate meat. However, there was one animal I just couldn’t eat now I knew how kickass their personalities were and how loveable they could be when breaking the rules and snuggling in bed with you.

Pigs.

Pork, bacon, chops—anything that oinked was off the menu forever.

I’d never forgive myself if Hippo figured out I was eating her kin.

“Relax already. I know you motherfucking sighed over this girl. I know you’ve handed over your balls already candy-wrapped and bow-tied, and I know you’ve most likely already fallen dick over heels for her so…” Rupe drew a cross over his heart with a spatula he’d plucked from the drawer. “Scout’s honour I won’t fuck it up for you.”