Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

“I just asked if I should grab some high strength puppy food to fatten him up and you zoned out on my—I don’t even know what you were staring at? My nose perhaps, it is rather good looking.” He patted the body part in question.

He was right. It was pretty proportional and dangnamit, I had to admit—it was a sexy nose.

“Shit, it wasn’t my mouth, was it?” He gasped overly dramatically. “Oh my, Ms. Fairfax, were you thinking about…” He leaned in, dropping his over-the-top act and sinking directly into sin. “…kissing me?”

“What?!” My cheeks switched from pale to bonfire. “No way.”

He inched around the table, coming closer with every step.

My eyes automatically dropped to his trousers where a very firm bulge made my mouth dry up.

“Maybe you do want to touch it.”

“Touch it?” My fingers squeezed the poor wiener, making him yelp. “I’m already touching it.” I patted the dog’s head. “See…touching it.”

He chuckled, knowing he’d rubbed a nerve and enjoying my reaction. “You know that’s not what I meant.” He stood with his legs spread boldly, giving me full view of what trouser snake he possessed. “You can squeeze my salami if you want. Poor Pikachu has been through enough, don’t you think?”

I rolled my eyes. “Wow, you really are something else.”

“Something incredible, you mean?”

“Something delusional more like.”

He laughed. “You’re too easy.”

“Easy?!” How dare he call me easy? I wasn’t easy. I hadn’t had sex in sixteen months. That was the opposite of easy. I didn’t believe in internet dating, and I had no life. I worked, I restocked the surgery, I went home to my pussy cat, and relaxed with a book or Netflix.

The end.

If I was easy, wouldn’t I be parading myself online and going on tinder or whatever it was where sexual hook-ups took place these days? I mean, how did those sites even work? Had computer cameras advanced so far, they delivered orgasms via the World Wide Web now?

The tense moment stretched.

Pikachu barked as his new owner encroached on my space, crossing the half-way point into my territory.

Alert. Alert.

Mayday. Mayday.

My heart went bananas as Ryder inched his fingers across the table toward mine.

I ripped them away.

I did the one thing a vet should never do.

I left my little doggy patient alone and unsupported on the table.

Panicking and feeding off the confusion in the room, Pikachu launched himself off the high ledge.

Everything happened in slow motion.

Ryder took a step back, his arms outstretched to catch the flying bratwurst. I threw myself forward, hoping to scoop the soaring sausage from the air.

He remained standing, I bent horizontal.

Horror ensued.

My face landed squarely on his cock.