Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

Rubbing her knuckles with my thumb, I dragged her toward the staircase. “How about you don’t ask questions and just say ‘yes, Ryder, please take me to bed. I trust you. I don’t care whatsoever what’s in the bag.’”

She rolled her eyes. “I suppose you expect me to lie down and present my belly for a rub too while you’re wanting the impossible.”

I chuckled. “It would go with the theme I had in mind. If you feel inclined…go for it.”

Our foot falls echoed in the huge foyer as we climbed the circular staircase. She didn’t pull away, keeping pace with me even if curiosity mixed with apprehension on her face.

“Oh!” She tugged on my hand. “What about Scar?”

I shook my head. “After that first night of labouring up the stairs, I couldn’t put his heart under such stress. I relocated his geisha tent under the dining room table. He’s content.”

“Geisha tent?”

“Well, it sounded better than pimp tent.”

“He’s a pimp now?”

“He wishes. He hasn’t had his balls cut off so I’m guessing the desire to use the force with a few bitches is strong in that one.”

“Did you just twist a Star Wars reference and use the word bitch in a sentence?”

I laughed as we entered my bedroom. “Damn, I can’t get anything past you.”

“No, you can’t.” Snatching the bag, she wriggled from my grip and darted to my bed. “Just like you can’t hide what’s in here forever.”

“Hey!” I chased after her.

Too late.

She upturned the bag, sending a flurry of colour and surprise onto the black sheets. At least I’d made the bed and put fresh linen on. Not that I had a choice. Repairing the roof yesterday meant I accidentally put my foot through the ceiling when checking a rafter inside.

Rubble and debris landed squarely on the same mattress I had full intentions of taking Vesper on.

“What exactly is this?” Vesper held up a feather attached to a bendy wand with silky ribbons.

“I believe that is a cat swatting toy thingy.”

“And why did you buy it?”

“Why not?”

“You don’t have any cats.”

“How do you know?”

She paused, biting her bottom lip. “You’ve never come into the surgery with a rescued cat before.”

“Doesn’t mean I haven’t saved a few.”

“Okay…where are the felines who are in desperate need of this toy?” She peered around my empty bedroom. “I’ll graciously give it to them right now.”

Sitting on the mattress, I grinned.

Her questions were delivered with perfect poise but beneath her snotty demands I sensed building excitement.

“The only pussy I currently have in my house is in this room.”

Her cheeks pinked as I added, “Do you think she’d be interested in playing with it?”