Bind Me (Private Listing #2)

How long can this thing between us really last? Until the guys don’t want to share a woman anymore? Before they want someone to call their own? Before I lose them because I will never be enough for them? I can’t be perfect. That isn’t who I am.

“Hey.” Noah’s arms wrap around me, and his hands stroke soothingly down my back.

His chest is wet under my cheek. Warm tears stream down my face. I didn’t even realize I’m crying. I rub at the tears.

Noah props himself up on the headboard and draws me into his lap, cradling my body in his arms and between his legs. “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, Madison. Things got intense last night. You aren’t used to that level of hormones flooding your system.”

Sniffling, I meet his eyes. Tears blur my vision. I should be happy, content, satisfied.

His smile is soft as he brushes the tears from my cheek. “What’s going on in your head right now, kitten?”

I glance around at the others still sleeping. The tears fall unchecked.

“This is going to end,” I whisper and meet Noah’s eyes, feeling so small and helpless. I should be stronger. I shouldn’t tell him this, but it throbs in my chest like an ache that needs to get out. “I don’t want it to, but it’s inevitable. It’s not like this is a real relationship.”

“Why not?” Noah tilts his head and his blond hair falls over his eye.

Unable to resist, I reach out and brush it back. “We have a contract?—‍”

“As most relationships that involve kinks should. Ours just happens to be written down.” Noah tightens his arm around me. “Every relationship should start with a talk about what you expect from each other. Our relationship involves a lot of sex and a variety of different needs we want met.”

I try to smile for him, but this ache in my heart keeps pounding away at me. “It’s not like we are emotionally tied?—‍”

“You don’t think this is emotional for us?” He shakes his head with a small smile. “This thing between us requires a lot of trust. We trust you to be faithful to us. We trust each other to not hurt you in any way. We trust that we’ll remain open and honest with each other so that no one gets hurt or jealous.”

“But what about when you guys find someone else?” I draw a heart on his chest, letting myself wallow in the sadness of what’s to come. I’ve never been anyone’s. Not really. Even my previous boyfriends were convenient rather than anyone I wanted long-term.

But I want to belong to these men. To be theirs fully and completely.

“What makes you think we’ll find someone else?”

“You guys have to go on dates. Those women will have expectations and hopes.” I can’t bring myself to say my fears out loud. And I can’t be enough for all of you. I’m just me.

Noah glances at the others. “Can I tell you a secret?”

I nod, and he shifts me so that I’m straddling his lap. His cock is hard between my thighs, and even though I’m aroused being close to him, this isn’t about sex right now for either of us.

He leans in and presses his mouth against my ear. His lips tickle me as he whispers, “The only one I want to date is you.”

I draw back to meet his eyes, surprised. “What?”

“We’ll talk more later. When we’re awake and can focus.” He gives me a tender kiss and pulls me in for a hug, which feels amazing. I don’t know what he means, but my heart is pounding so hard right now.

Is it hope or fear? Maybe a little of both?

He tips my chin up and searches my eyes. “Feel better? A little?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Back to sleep, kitten. Sleep will help.”

As we settle down on the bed, Blake rolls toward me and draws my back into him, surrounding me with his heat. Noah closes his eyes, and I study him. He wants to date me? Like outside of this relationship? What would that mean for the others? What would that mean for me?

Blake rubs his nose along the nape of my neck. “Sleep, tiger.”

My eyes are useless to resist him, and the world around me fades. But questions still linger. Can I date one and fuck the others still? Can I give my heart to only one of them?

Chapter 16