Lib Novel Page 56
“Why the hell would he come out here?” Zane asks, rubbing his hands together and looking back at the near-frozen lake. “The guy hates himself?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter, “something to do with the water sprites and fishing, I think.”
“Water sprites,” Zane says, shaking his head. After a moment, he reaches into his car, pulls out a thermos, and offers it to me after he takes a long swig. I hesitate a moment, then take a drink myself.
It’s black coffee, but good. Hot and smooth.
“That shit at the bakery was barely drinkable,” he says, when I pass the thermos back to him. I laugh, shaking my head and pulling my hat down so it’s more snug over my ears.
“Don’t let Olivia hear you saying that—”
“Yeah, yeah, or her and Bigby will make me regret it. I know.”
We stand there for a moment in silence, our breath coming out as little puffs of smoke. When I can’t take the quiet any longer, I cross my arms, leaning back against my Firebird.
“So?” I say, trying to keep the annoyance from my voice.
“So what?”
“So,” I say, shaking my head, the taste of coffee still lingering in my mouth. “What the hell are you doing here, man?”
Zane nods, rolling his lips into his mouth and looking down at his thermos. I watch as he traces a line around the top.
“Listen,” he says, finally, “I want to stay.”
“What?”
“I’m thinking…maybe I stay in Rosecreek. Maybe we’ve been apart for too long.”
“I…” I stare at him, swallowing hard, trying to formulate a thought. Trying to figure out how to string together a complete sentence. My entire body hates this idea—hates the thought of him staying in Rosecreek, bringing the past back in front of my face, full force.
“What?” he laughs, taking another pull from his coffee. “You don’t want me here?”
“That’s not it.”
“Then, what?”
“I just—it just feels silly to have this conversation,” I laugh, shaking my head. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Zane pushes off his car, his brow furrowing, his arms swinging loosely at his sides, the thermos gripped tightly in one, the other balling into a fist. I know him, know that this stance is transitionary, ready to morph into attack at any moment.
“Just—look, staying is not exactly one of your strong suits, is it? So, forgive me if I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“Maybe I want to stay.”
“Right,” I say, the word coming out like I’m swallowing gravel. “Because now you want to stay.”
“Do you have something to say to me, man? Something you have to get off your chest?”
I stare at the gravel, not answering. The part of me that’s still a little brother wants nothing more than his approval; just wants him to like me. Another part of me, the part that’s still aching over his leaving, wants him to go away.
“Spit it out, By.”
I take a deep breath, then meet his eyes.
“Why now? Why now, when I’ve finally found something good, do you think it’s a great time to come cruising back into my life? Like—shit, I could have used this attitude years ago, Zane! Besides, I know missing me isn’t the only reason. What are you running from now? Who are you running from? You came here for a reason.”