A Curse of Shadows

“She’s an elder wolf and someone well versed in healing.”

Her eyes pinch together. “I don’t understand. Did someone get hurt?”

I grab her hand, keeping her close to my side. “Healing doesn’t only apply to physical wounds. Mental ones are just as important to mend and I think that might help you connect to your inner wolf.”

“Oh.” Isla pauses, nibbling on her lower lip. “So, what? Is she, like, a therapist or something?”

A chuckle escapes me as I shake my head. “No, at least not from my understanding. From what I’ve been told, she’ll place her hands on you, read your energy, and find the source of whatever is out of balance, helping you to find what you want most. I know that’s probably several things right now, but if you’re open to it, I think Elyn can help.”

As we arrive at my office and I open the door, Isla seems to be considering my plan seriously. My hope rises that I’ve made the right choice by asking the healer here without talking to Isla first, but then as she stands in front of my desk, a glare deepens on her face.

“This sounds a lot like those energy workers Estee used to talk about.” Isla looks away from me, crossing her arms as she mutters, “Damn her for not being here for this.”

Isla hasn’t said much about Estee’s absence, and I’ve been so focused on the fact that Isla’s been remembering the pieces of our past that I haven’t considered how her sister refusing to return has affected everything else.

“I’m sorry, Issie,” I tell her as I draw her closer. “She hasn’t officially rejoined the pack, so I can’t mind speak with her, but I can get her back here one way or another.”

I’m not above sending a group of shifters to forcefully bring Isla’s sister back if that’s what she needs. Hell, Declan might even enjoy that particular mission since that she-wolf is all he can talk about.

Isla shakes her head and places her hands over my chest. “No. I might be pissed that Estee left me, but something happened and when she’s ready, she’ll come back to explain. Though it does make me wonder if I should go back to the Academy library. If we both had breakthroughs that morning, then maybe I’ll remember more of the day I was taken by being there instead of staying holed up in our room.”

The mention of the Academy sparks a protective instinct in me, but I curb it, respecting her growing independence, while also noting that she called my quarters “our room.” Hearing those two words is nearly enough to distract me, but I try to quell my conflicting emotions, circling back to the original topic of discussion.

“First things first,” I tell her, my hands rubbing lightly up and down her arms. “Tell me what you really want to do about Elyn. If this is too much for you right now, then I can send her back. That’s on me for not talking to you about it first.”

When she smiles back up at me, I swear my feet come off the floor. “I would love to meet her,” Isla says. “You’re right that there are several things I’m searching for right now, and I don’t know that unlocking my wolf will come out on top, but if she can help with either that or even with making the memory of my final day come through clearer, then it’s worth trying.”

I’d also love if Isla could not only remember our bond, but feel the connection as well, but I’m being as patient as I can be. Though I can’t lie. My wish for Isla to have her wolf back isn’t just so that she can run with us and be more at peace. I also hope that when her wolf is free that it will allow Isla to understand what I’ve been fighting for this whole time.

Our love.

“Perfect,” I tell her, kissing the top of her head before I take a step away to call for Malimorte. He’s not only been helping keep an eye on my mate, but he’s overseen Elyn’s travel and arrival. I want to make sure everything is as the elder wolf has requested.

Except before I can do that, Isla grabs on to my shirt, pulling me back toward her. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Nowhere,” I say because not even checking on Elyn is worth missing out on this moment with my mate.

Isla’s touch is gentle as her palms press against my chest, her fingers trailing upward along my shoulders as she rises onto her toes. “I know I’ve been lost in books lately, and we haven’t really dived into discussing ‘us,’” she confesses, her eyes locked with mine, “but I want you to know, I’m not going anywhere. Whether or not I regain my wolf or recover all my memories, I’m certain of one thing: this is where I belong.”

As I listen to her declaration, a part of me yearns to rejoice, yet deep down, I recognize this is more than just about her deciding to stay in Polaris. Once, centuries ago, our love was a force unmatched, woven from a connection others could scarcely comprehend. The mere echo of that bond now is not sufficient. I need Isla to grasp the fullness of what it means to be my mate, not merely as someone who remembers loving me and thinks that suffices.

What I crave most is to witness the light in her eyes when she looks at me after being apart, to feel again the vibrant energy that flowed effortlessly between us, even though we were never formally bonded. The rhythm of our hearts, the sync of our souls—once perfectly aligned—now feels distant. While I treasure her presence here and now, after centuries apart, I remain unyielding in my resolve to reclaim the profound connection we once shared.

With a tender touch, I brush the rose-gold strands from her face, gently tilting her chin up to meet my gaze. “While I’m relieved you feel at home here, I need you to understand,” I start, my voice thick with emotion as my hand rests over her heart, feeling its steady rhythm, a painful reminder of our current disconnect. “There’s so much more you’re missing. You might remember loving me, but feeling the strength of our love isn’t something that a memory can replace. Until we figure out how you can sense our bond again, I’ll always be fighting for us.”

Her shoulders fall and her gaze begins to drift downward. “I’m sorry, Ash. I’m trying and?—”

I lift her chin, ensuring our eyes meet again, my voice firm yet gentle. “You have no reason to apologize. I didn’t share this to make you feel guilty. I just want you to know that no matter what you need to do on your own, I don’t doubt that you want to be here, but I’m also going to be doing everything I can to fix what was stolen from us.”

Compelled by a surge of emotions, I pull her close, pressing my lips to hers, the intensity of my heartbeats demanding I taste her, feel her. Thankfully, Isla responds with equal fervor, holding on to me tightly. Her nails claw at my skin as she presses in closer, matching my intensity without blinking an eye.

Her hands move everywhere all at once as I reach down toward her hips—only, I don’t stop there. My fingers grab her right thigh, pulling it upward until her leg is wrapped around my waist. I push her back against my desk, kicking the chairs out of the way as I lay her back.

She moans beneath me, undoubtedly feeling my hard length against her stomach. “Asher.” She says my name, almost as if she’s warning me, but there’s nothing about this woman that I’m afraid of. I want every inch of her that she’s offering, even without the bond.

While I’ll keep fighting to get back what we had, that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy the natural attraction we share now.

It’s something I’ve grown to respect about my mate because even though her soul is the same as it was all those years ago, I’ve had to remind myself that this woman with me isn’t Isobella. She’s Isla and while the mate bond might not care about names or rebirth, I respect the difference between who she was and who she is.