A Curse of Shadows

She blinks several times, her gaze wide but almost empty at the same time. I reach a hand up to cradle her face and the moment my palm makes contact with her skin, an energy passes between the two of us, lighting up the connection I feel to her.

Isla shudders again, but this one almost seems like it’s a sense of relief. Her eyes flutter closed and she leans into my touch. “I remembered.”

“Remembered what?” I plead, trying not to get my hopes too high. I’d actually prefer if she didn’t remember us if this is what the memory did to her.

She looks at me again, a longing in her eyes. “My room when I lived with my parents, being at the cave with you, knowing that there was nowhere I’d rather be than with you, and then…the moment someone took that away from me.”

I don’t speak for several seconds. Words are lost on me and I don’t want to frighten her, but she’s just confirmed what I perversely hoped for all along, causing rage to build behind my eyes, a storm ready to break.

Someone stole my mate from me. She didn’t willingly leave me.

My heart fills with relief unlike I’ve known in far too many years, yet at the same time, there’s a shadow growing within me that desires vengeance and won’t settle for anything less than the death of the person who wronged us.

“Who, Isla?” I beg her. “Who hurt you?”

She shakes her head, confusion and sorrow mingling in her expression. “I don’t know, but I could tell that I knew them. Whoever was on the other side of that door, they weren’t a stranger to me before they stabbed me in the chest.”

The words cut through me, sharper than any steel as a growl builds in my chest. “Someone stabbed you.”

Her nod barely registers with me as she speaks and I try to stay calm for her. “The blade immediately took me down. I don’t know how or why, but the memory ended right after I fell to the ground.” She grabs my face and holds me gently. “All I could remember was this soul-deep grief of being forced to leave when I knew you needed me most. I’m so sorry, Asher. I never would?—”

I kiss the words right off her lips because this woman will never apologize for something she had no control over. There isn’t a single part of me that blames Isla for what happened. Yes, I was an asshole when she first returned, but I was confused and overwhelmed. That combined with becoming desperate for answers and to have my mate back made me not handle those things very well. Everything is different now.

She kisses me back, then she starts to shake. At first, I fear she’s crying, but then when I pull back she starts to laugh. “You haven’t changed at all.”

My body tenses, hope threatening to overflow within me. “You remember me, us?”

“Enough,” she says with a wink. “Not all the moments, but the connection came to me. It was so strong, like something tangible that I never had to fear would go away.” Then she frowns. “I just don’t feel it now. The bond, it’s not there, but the memory of what once was… No wonder you were so desperate to keep me here before. I never would have left you willingly and I hate that you’ve had to hurt all these years while I’ve been ignorant of everything.”

“None of that matters now,” I tell her because it’s true. “We just need to figure out who stabbed you and make sure not only that they don’t attempt to do so again, but that the last thing they feel is my hand tearing out their heart.”

She closes her eyes briefly and shakes her head. “The memory was so shrouded in darkness. Even now, it’s hard to remember the details.”

“My mother is going to bring whatever might help you here,” I explain. “You won’t need to worry about leaving the castle until you’re ready and now that we know you were hurt in your room, I’d prefer if you’d stay in here with me. I can’t lose you again, love. I won’t survive it a second time. Hell, our entire world wouldn’t survive my wrath if someone took you from me again.”

She reaches for my hands and squeezes them tightly. “We’ll figure this out, but I’m going to need to rest for a day or two before I pick another book.”

“As long as I know you’re safe, you can have all the time you need,” I promise her. Though it doesn’t escape me that she doesn’t readily agree to stay with me. If I have to sleep outside her door to know she’s safe, then that’s what I’ll do. Either way, I’m not leaving my mate’s side until I know there is no longer a threat lingering in the shadows of this castle.

At least not if I can help it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

ISLA

It’s been eight days since the haunting vision of my death, and each day has been a blend of agony and exhilaration. Memories keep flooding back—tender moments with Asher, laughter with my family, knowledge surfacing without prompting.

All of which is great, except for one thing: Estee. Her absence casts a shadow over my newfound clarity. She hasn’t returned after running off from the school, not even for food or clothes, and refuses to speak with anyone other than our father. He’s let me know she’s physically fine, but she needs time to process a few things of her own before she returns.

I have no clue what could keep her away, and even though I’m not okay with her absence, I’m trying to respect her need for space by keeping myself preoccupied with all things books.

Well, and Asher. Though even that time has been limited.

I gave into his insistence about wanting me to stay in his room. We’ve spent every night together in his bed, but nothing has happened. Nothing more than kissing, anyway. Something is holding me back from more. I still feel lost. Whether that’s because of Estee’s absence or because I still don’t sense my wolf, I don’t know. Either way, I haven’t been in a hurry to rush anything else in my life.

That’s not to say that my feelings for Asher haven’t grown tenfold as my memories return, but there’s something missing and until I figure out what that is…we’re continuing as we’ve been.

My stomach growls and I suddenly have a craving for sausage. I’d always been a bacon person before, but this is how my memory has been working lately. I’ll just suddenly know something. For example, one day for dinner I had to have spaghetti and sausage meatballs—maybe there’s a theme here—or the other night, on Asher’s balcony, my mind conjured an image of a stunning silver wolf shining brightly in the forest beneath the glow of the twin moons. The wolf was me. I knew that without a doubt in my mind, but still, I can’t feel her like Asher says I will.