A Curse of Shadows

There’s no way I can sit here and take this information. The need to move is too strong, forcing me to stand up from the chair and walk halfway to the door before turning around. I cross my arms and tap my foot as I stare at the woman before me.

“I know what reincarnation is, but please tell me the panic attack I’m having in my mind right now is for nothing and you’re not saying that’s what you people are. Reincarnations.”

“No, dear.” Her words and light chuckle have my shoulders dropping until she adds, “We are all reincarnated. You and us.”

My hands cover my face again and I groan loudly. “That’s not possible.”

Her laughter increases. Though I don’t feel like she’s laughing at me. I’m sure I seem rather ridiculous right now.

“Oh, it is,” she says. “You just didn’t know it before, and now you do. As for your questions before, your mother’s name was Florence. I could spend hours talking about what happened to her, but the short version, while devastating, is rather simple. She died of a broken heart and chose not to be reborn—a choice we can all make each time we die. We’re so old, as you say, because of the magic of this world. We age much slower than humans and for my son, as the king, he doesn’t age at all while holding his title. I could explain the whys behind those things, but we should probably stick to the basics for tonight, given the paleness of your face.”

I’ve never been much for vulgar language, but…fuck me.

I pinch my arm and while there is a harsh bite of pain from my longer-than-normal nails, I don’t wake up from this craziness.

How am I supposed to accept that this is all real? How do I leave here and pretend I don’t know these things now? This is why I wasn’t going to ask questions. I didn’t need to know the answers because they only lead to so many more questions.

Yet Sosheena’s earlier words now haunt me.

“No one should make important decisions with only pieces of the truth.”

I close my eyes and take a deep inhale. The action is sharp and jagged and burning, like swallowing fiery icicles that are breaking apart as the air is forced down my throat. Still, I take another breath, then another until the action becomes easier to manage.

“There you go, Isla,” Sosheena says. “Just breathe and everything will be okay. I promise.”

Looking back at her, I shake my head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

A frown etches deep on her face and she looks away for the first time since appearing at my door. “You’re right.” Her gaze slowly returns to mine. “I shouldn’t make a blanket promise like that, but I can promise that whatever you’re feeling now, however shocking all this seems, it will get easier. That’s not to say it won’t get worse first, but your best chance of surviving all of this is knowing the truth.”

I really hate that she’s most likely right.

“So, reincarnation?” I ask, still standing in the middle of my room, because there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t agree with her at this point. “That means that I’ve died before and come back to life. If this is something that all of you do, why is it that people remember me, but I don’t remember them?”

“Hm, that’s the golden question, isn’t it?” she muses. “One I can’t answer for you. I wish I could, believe me, but nobody was there with you that we know of when you died that first time. There were no signs of a struggle, no body, no blood, just nothing. You were gone and none of us knew why. Of course we could guess, but no answer was a good one.”

Well, that sounds pretty damn terrible.

“I’m sorry,” I start to say, but she cuts me off.

“You were once going to be the future queen,” she tells me. “You don’t need to apologize for anything, Isla. Fate is something we can’t control. All we can do is our best to adjust to the situation like we’ve done throughout the years and I hope you’re doing now.”

“Future…qu-queen?” I stutter. What the hell is she talking about? I know Grayson said Isobella was close with Asher and I might have assumed that meant they dated, but being his queen? Never once did that cross my mind.

Her fingers lightly cover her lips, but the action doesn’t hide her grin. “I’ve said more than I intended. How about something else? Yes, our memories. Typically, when those born in Lunara die and choose to be reborn, they eventually remember everything about their past lives. As their maturity grows, so does their memory. Oh, that gives me an idea. How do you feel about school?”

I lean against my bed now that I’m not losing my mind as much as before. Though I still want to know more about this future queen business. Maybe Grayson will tell me more tomorrow. I don’t think I’ll go see him after this conversation. My mind is already on overload.

“School?” I finally reply. “I was never the best at it, but I graduated.”

“You should join in on some of the classes,” she replies animatedly. “Yes, that would be a great idea. You can learn more about Lunara while you’re here because it’s not just the truth of your heart that you need to know before deciding to leave. You should know where you’re from, Isla. Even if you leave, this is important, no matter your choice.”

“You should know where you’re from, Isla.”

I thought I did. I thought that I was born in Salem, Oregon to my parents, Sandy and Blake Jessup. I thought I knew everything that I needed to know, but suddenly, I’m not so sure.

“Can I use a phone to call back…to Earth?” I ask because in this moment, with all these admissions, there’s nobody I need more than Elodee.

Sosheena’s grimace doesn’t give me much hope even before she answers. “We don’t have the technology to do so, but we can send a message to someone if you’d like since you’re not able to leave just yet.”